How do I know if my children are having problems coping?

62.How do I know if my children are having
problems coping?

Take steps to ensure that significant adults around
your child are providing consistent messages.

Kathleen McCue, the author of How to Help Children
Through a Parent’s Serious Illness, describes some of the
warning signs to look out for: major changes or disturbances
in sleeping or eating; the appearance of new
fears that won’t go away; retreating into silence; and
trouble with developmental milestones (for example, a
potty-trained toddler who starts to wet the bed or a
teenager’s drop in grades at school). See the Appendix
for the full reference to this very helpful book.

If you are unsure about how to talk to your child or
have concerns about how he or she is coping with the
diagnosis, speak to a social worker or counselor who
specializes in helping children of a parent with cancer.

If your children are in school, talking with their teachers
and/or a school counselor can be helpful, too. Take
steps to ensure that significant adults (such as caregivers,
close family members, and teachers) around
your child are providing consistent messages. You may
want to tell these adults generally what your wife is
going through medically and what your child already
knows. These people will be able to provide support to
your child and also notify you if they have concerns
about how your child is coping. If you have concerns
about how your children are coping with the diagnosis,
you can investigate counseling for your children or
groups intended specially for children coping with a
parent diagnosed with cancer.