I have heard that “positive thinking” can help cure cancer.Does this mean I should discourage my wife from thinking negatively?

29. I have heard that “positive thinking”
can help cure cancer.Does this mean I should
discourage my wife from thinking
negatively?

Sometimes people believe that thinking
positively all the time is necessary.
Consequently, they then feel guilty when
they cannot perform this impossible task.

Comment from Jean (a 46-year-old high school
teacher, diagnosed with colon cancer):

Sometimes I don’t feel so positive, and the rest of my family
gets upset with me when I express negative thoughts, such
as speculating whether the surgery and treatments actually
will work, or sometimes wondering whether it is worth
going through all this. Now, I am not only feeling guilty
about having negative thoughts because I may be hurting
my chances of survival, but I also feel that I am letting my
family down.

One of the most common questions from patients and
their family members is about the role of “positive
thinking.” As discussed in Question 28, research has
not yet found a conclusive cause-and-effect relationship
between positive thinking, personality characteristics
and/or coping styles and cancer development,
diagnosis, or prognosis. The relationship between mental
events and physical events is not clearly understood.

Thinking negatively or positively has not been proven
to directly affect cancer growth or to cure cancer.
Sometimes people believe that thinking positively all
the time is necessary. Consequently, they then feel
guilty when they cannot perform this impossible task,
because they think that they are negatively affecting
their health or chances of survival by periodically having
a negative attitude. However, it is unrealistic to
expect any person to be upbeat all of the time.

Even though positive thinking may not directly affect
someone’s cancer, many people find that maintaining a
hopeful, positive outlook does make them feel better.
Positive thinking can help decrease distress, which in
turn can make a person better able to handle treatments
and possible side effects. People can help themselves
through difficult times by viewing life as worth
living, seeking enjoyment, connecting with others, and
seeing themselves as fighters who will survive. Remember,
however, that trying to think positively all the time
is simply not possible and can itself cause undue stress.

When a person with cancer expresses negative emotions
such as fear and sadness, people around them
often will try to support them with quick statements
like, “Don’t think/feel that way! You’ll be okay!”
Although the patient indeed may have misconceptions
about his or her disease, or inadequate information,
statements like these from others can make the person
with cancer feel as though he or she is not being heard.
The person feels that what he or she says is being
devalued and dismissed.

Of course, it is difficult to hear a loved one express
negative emotions. However, this may be a necessary
step for him or her to come to terms with the diagnosis
and the life changes that follow. Allowing your
loved one to be truthful may be the most important
thing you do as a caregiver.