What techniques can I use to deal with sexual changes associated with cancer?

55.What techniques can I use to deal with
sexual changes associated with cancer?

As a person moves beyond the initial phase of diagnosis
and making treatment decisions, questions regarding
other aspects of the person’s life become
increasingly important. Often, such concerns include
intimacy, sexuality, and sexual side effects during and
after diagnosis and treatment. For some people, however,
sex is a difficult topic to talk about, both with
their partners and with the medical team. Nonetheless,
open communication can be an important factor in
maintaining or regaining your sexuality.

Patients having surgery may experience a decrease in
sex drive before surgery because they may be preoccupied
with the upcoming treatment and, similarly, during
the recuperation period. After surgery and during
other treatments, they may experience body changes.

These include adjusting to scars, removal of body parts
(such as a mastectomy), or functions altered due to
some types of treatments. Depending on the type of
treatment, different varieties of sexual problems can
result. Some people feel embarrassed about these
changes to their bodies, particularly soon after surgery
or medical treatment. With time, they can become
accustomed to possible body changes, particularly with
assistance from medical professionals and by discussing
their concerns with the team and their partners.

For example, once an incision has healed, it will
not be hurt by touching or intimate activity.

If your partner is experiencing sexual changes, and
these changes are significantly affecting both of you,
this may be a good time to think creatively about sex
and intimacy. Touching, caressing, oral and finger stimulation,
and use of sexual paraphernalia are sometimes
as arousing and stimulating as traditional sexual intercourse
(or more so for some people). As you start to
experiment, you may find new ways of pleasing your
partner and new activities that you enjoy, too. Often,
couples experience resurgence in loving feelings toward
one another when they are faced with cancer. Focus on
these feelings during lovemaking and sexual practice.


Sexual paraphernalia = An apparatus or object used in 
sexual activity.


As a sexual partner, you may sometimes be in conflict
about whether to initiate sexual contact with the
patient. Some significant others have avoided any and
all mention of sex for fear of offending the patient.We
have heard spouses say that they feel guilty for having
sexual desires while their loved one is ill. Avoiding
healthy sexual expression may not be healthy for your
relationship, particularly if it was an important part of
your lives before the cancer. Sexual desire is a healthy,
natural aspect of human existence. Talk about your feelings
with your partner. Perhaps your desire is very flattering
even though he or she may not be feeling
particularly physically desirable. If sexual expression is
not possible, for any reason, do not push the issue. Show
your love by touch and words until the patient is ready.

Patients may be particularly sensitive to initiating intimate
relationships with new sexual partners. Beginning
sexual expression will take time, and each situation is
different. Patients and their partners should listen to
themselves and follow their instincts. Also, keep in
mind that sexual adjustment, under any circumstance,
starts with being informed and with learning good
communication skills.

If you and your loved one continue to have questions
or experience problems, you may want to contact a
physician or a therapist who specializes in treating
sexual issues. Prescription treatments are available to
help with maintaining erection or lubricants for
improving vaginal lubrication. Preventive measures,
such as using vaginal dilators for women undergoing
radiation therapy to the pelvic region (which can
make the vaginal walls constrict), or surgical procedures,
such as reconstruction, may be possible also for
some types of sexual dysfunction.